Toby Farrier another rewrite.

I am editing my manuscript for TOBY FARRIER and as the words are beginning to run together. I thought I would share a passage from late in the book where Toby is keeping his promise to a dying man. I look forward to hearing what you think.

Toby wanted to say something. He’d seen priests deliver the last rights in movies, and could almost remember the words, but he would feel a fake if he said them. A prayer for Larry needed to be something more original. He lifted Larry’s hand and clasped between his.

Using his legs he dragged the chair closer, rested his elbows on the bed and thought about what he needed to say. Sure he could say the words in his mind, but that wouldn’t be a real prayer. No, he would say them aloud, and if others could hear, then maybe Larry’s God would too.

‘Dear Heavenly Father.’ No that sounds too corporate and, Larry was by no means that he thought.

Toby started again. ‘God if you can hear me, I’m praying for my friend Larry, I don’t know much about him Lord, but I’m sure you’ll have a record of his life up there somewhere. Well, I’m asking you to overlook any of the bad stuff Larry may have done, and to tote up his list of good stuff, please. I only met him yesterday and yet he showed me how to offer compassion to a stranger. I never fully understood that before.

When he asked me to hold Jock’s hand yesterday, I didn’t think I could do it. Right then, he taught me how to value the knowledge of a life well lived. Larry gave me that opportunity and I’m stronger because of it.

Even when his lungs were filling with fluid, he would con someone to take him out for a smoke, seeing the way he did that, I now understand the power of persuasive negotiation.

Larry showed me, that by taking a cigarette to his lips in his last days, that no matter how weak you feel, you can stand against popular opinion. I’m not saying I wish to smoke, I don’t, but. Larry cared about people, not their opinion of him. He knew exactly who he was and his body art defined him. He was proud of who he was.

Most of all Lord, I understand from teachings and what I’ve read, that you are a caring and forgiving God. In one day, Larry taught me to put others first. He has shown me that you go out of life with nothing. I learned that when he gave his ring to me. You see, Lord he couldn’t be sure I’d come back, but he wanted to give it to me anyway. So he showed me the value of faith. By asking me to sit here with him, Lord he’s taught me the value of trust and through my prayer, humility.’

Lord, Larry’s had enough trouble in his life. I’ve seen this in his drawings they show enough pain and conflict to fill the MCG. I don’t know if he has any family. Even if he does, he chose me for this, and I am humble.

Lord I’m asking you to take this ragged, painted angel, my friend Lizard into your arms and treasure him as a gift. When you receive his soul, thank him for me. I will never forget him.’

Toby paused and while he waited, his eyes moistened and he wanted to wipe them, but resisted, he still held Larry’s hand.

‘Amen’